Blog ni Inday!

Habang nagmemerienda ang magbabarkada sa may sari-sari store, nabanggit ni Ethan na hindi na lang sya bibili ng pedicab.

Ethan: Guys, di na lang ako magpepedicab. Inday, mahal pala yung mga piyesa na ni-recommend mo… yung iba di raw available dito sa pinas.

Inday: Awww, sorry to hear that Ethan. So what do you intend to do with your assets now?

Ethan: Di ko pa alam eh… food business kaya?

Dodong: Pwede yan pards. Food stall lang. Yung di malaki at di gumagamit ng gas. (sabay kagat sa bananacue)

Ethan: Hmm pwede. Anong klase kaya? Donut? Fruit shake?

Manang: Dimsum na lang iho. Pwedeng ulamin ng mga tao, di kailangan ng gas at dalawang tao lang ang kailangang magbantay. Maliit ng pwesto pa ang kailangan. (sabay subo ng pandesal na isinawsaw sa kape)

Ederlyn: Oo nga Ethan. May naisip na akong pangalan para sa siopawan at syomayan mo. Code Name: Asado! Hahahaha. O diba? Napapanahon. (habang patuloy ngumunguya ng Chippy)

Dodong: Corny. (sabay bato ng stick ng bananacue kay Ederlyn)

Inday: Pathetic.

Ethan: Pero ok nga talaga yung dimsum lang para di mahirap. Wag na siguro yung mga siopao pa. siomai at gulaman lang.

Inday: I agree You just have to get a good location and I would suggest a spot where it could easily cater to call-center employees. Why? Their break time is really limited so they need to consume their food quick and this is where your dimsum comes in. And if you operate 24 hours daily, you’ll rack up those sales in no time. All you need now is a catchy name.

Ethan: Hmm… ano kaya magandang pangalan?

Biglang sumingit ang pulubing nakikinig at naghahakot ng mga boteng itinapon

Pulubi: Ipangalan mong Master Siomai - Walang Tulugan! O diba? Open 24 hours a day kamo eh.

Ethan, Dodong, Ederlyn, Manang: PWEDE!!!

Inday: I don’t get it.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Hindi alam ng nakararami na nakapag-usap na si Inday at si Annabelle tungkol sa bagong pelikula ng huli.

Annabelle: Oy, Inday, iksayted na ko sa kembek mubi ko.

Inday: Ms. Rama, it’s comeback (with the hand gesture).

Annabelle: Kem-bek.

Inday: No. Try to soften your tongue a little bit. Come… back. Comeback!

Annabelle: Basta mapanood ako ng mga pans ko sa pilikula.

Inday: But Ms. Rama, you have to practice on your enunciation first.

Annabelle: O sige na nga. Wag ka na makulet. Magpapaparlor pa ako para sa premer.

Inday: Premer?!

Hinimatay si Inday.

Popularity: 6% [?]

Dahil sa tuluyang pagtaas ng gasolina, naisipan ni Ethan na ibenta na lang ang kanyang tricycle at kumuha na lang ng pedicab. Balak nyang magpatulong kay Inday na maghanap ng parts para mag-assemble ng bisikleta.

Ethan: Inday, pwede bang magpatulong sayo?

Inday: Sure, what’s up?

Ethan: Bebenta ko na kasi tricycle ko kasi mahina na kita lalo na ang taas na ng presyo ng gasolina. Assemble sana ako ng bisikleta para gawing pedicab. Marunong kang tumingin ng parts diba?

Inday: I suppose so.

Continue Reading »

Popularity: 16% [?]

Matapos magcelebrate nila Pacquiao ay naisipan nyang kamustahin ang kaibigan nyang si Inday kaya tumawag sya ng long distance.

Nag-ring ang phone ng Montemayor at ang amo ang nakasagot.

Manny: Hilow, pwide kay Inday?

Amo: Teka lang. (mukhang irita na may tumatawag kay Inday)

INDAYYYYY!!!!

Inday: Yes? Who is it?

Amo: Ewan. Pakibilisan na lang, may tatawagan pa ako.

Pinasa kay Inday ang phone.

Inday: Hello?

Manny: Inday? Kamusta ka? Di mo pala ginamit ang tikit na binigay ko sayu para sana nakanood ka sa ringsayd.

Inday: Manny? Hey!!! It’s you!

Hinimatay ang amo nang nalaman nyang si Pacquiao pala ang tumawag.

Inday: I was so caught up with the household chores here that I didn’t have time to fly there in Vegas. But I would like to offer my congratulations to you for triumphing in your match. You really got so dexterous and vicious out there.

Manny: (mukhang di gaanong naintindihan sinabi ni Inday) Ahh tenkyu! Sa awa ng Diyos di ako masyadong nahirapan. Di ko alam piru parang ang bagal ni Dabid kanina. Nagkapilipit pilipit ata ang masel.

Inday: Hahaha. You were so swifty that he didn’t know what hit him. He even mentioned afterward that he thought Roach was also there in the ring socking him. (chuckle)

Manny: Napansin nya pala yun? Tinitisting lang namin ni coach Frid kung mabagal nga talaga sya eh. Hahaha.

Inday: Manny you’re so mean. Such a joker. Anyway, I have to cut this short. Still have things to do.

Manny: (mukhang disappointed) Ah ganun ba. Sigi pagbalik ko mag-istarbaks tayu ha.

Inday: Let’s take a rain check on that ok? Thanks for calling. Tata!

(Mukhang chummy sina Inday at Pacquiao ah -manager)

Popularity: 14% [?]

Tambay ulit ang magbabarkada sa may tindahan para magmeryenda. Medyo napasarap ang kwentuhan kaya’t di namalayang dumidilim na.

Si Dodong ang unang nakapansin at kinausap nya ang nagbabantay sa tindahan…

Dodong: Ate, ba’t di nyo pa binubuksan ang ilaw dito sa labas? Ang dilim na eh.

Tindera: Ay sensya na pero wala pa sa oras, mamaya pang alas-siyete bubuksan yan. Mahal na kuryente ngayon. Tipid lang muna tayo.

Manang: Hayy… I understand. Kami nga balik sa manual na paglalaba. Waag na daw munang mag-washing machine. (sabay kagat sa pandesal)

Ederlyn: Ay naku sinabi niyo pa. Sa amin nga may oras ang pagbukas ng refrigerator eh kaya dapat alam mo na kukunin mo kung ayaw mong maghintay ng ilang oras ulit. (sabay laklak sa tirang Chippy sa supot)

Dodong: Ako nga di na pinapayagan ng amo kong magplantsa ng mga damit ko. Sampay ko na lang daw ng maayos pagtapos labhan. (sabay simot sa paubos na goto)

Ethan: Eh sa amin naman… yung erpats ermats ko pag-gabi pinapapunta ako sa Wendy’s para dun maki-charge ng mga cellphone namin. (habang nilalaro ang stick ng isaw)

Inday: Oh my goodness!! It’s the same in our household! My master only allow me 1 hour for my PS3. Can you believe that?? I tell you 1 hour of GTA IV is unbearable!! Not to mention asking me not to use my 7.1 Channel Home Theater System while playing. Arrghh.

Laglag panga nila Dodong at Ethan.

Napataas na lang ang kilay nila Ederlyn at Manang sa sinabi ni Inday.

Pulubi: Ouch. I feel for you Inday. (sabay sawsaw ng antipasti sa kanyang walang kamatayang supply ng olive oil)

Popularity: 23% [?]

Di alam ng karamihan na naglayas na si Inday noon. Pero di rin nagtagal ay bumalik din sya.

Nagulat na lang ang amo nang nakitang bumalik si Inday sa kanilang tahanan.

Amo: Inday! Bumalik ka rin! Bakit?

Inday: I care about my job sir… I care about you!

Popularity: 18% [?]

Hi guys,

I’m really sorry for not being able to update this site as much as I want to. I’ve been really very busy these days. It’s also very difficult to top the current Inday stories that we have and I kinda lost the creative and funny juice that it takes to make you guys smile.

I would still like to thank you all for still visiting and commenting on this blog. I read each and every comments that you post and napapa-smile lang ako.

Hopefully, I can think of new materials soon. Right now, I’m focusing on compiling the best Inday stories so you could experience lots of nosebleed even while taking a dump in the toilet. Watch out for it soon.

Still, for those who want to contribute their Inday jokes, please do e-mail me at blogniinday@gmail.com.

Thanks all!

- Manager ni Inday

Popularity: 21% [?]

Habang nagwawalis sa harap ng bakuran si Inday, ay napadaan si Ethan sa kanyang tricycle.

Ethan: Hi Inday. Tuloy ba yung outing naten sa Pagudpud?

Inday: Hey Ethan. I’m not sure, who’s planning anyway? Do the others already know?

Habang nag-gugupit ng mga damo si Dodong at narinig nya ang kanilang usapan.

Dodong: Mga pre, game ako dyan. Ilang araw ba tayo doon?

Inday: Well, the most suitable would be at least 2 nights but it depends on how long you guys are allowed for a furlough.

Ethan: Teka sasama ba si Manang? Hehehe, baka matangay ng alon yun.

Narinig ni Manang galing sa loob ng bakuran habang sya’y naglalaba. Huminto ito at lumapit sa kanila.

Manang: Hoi!! If you must know, I was a varsity swimmer when I was in high school so don’t underestimate my aquatic capabilities (banat nya kay Ethan). And of course, you can count me in.

Dodong: Teka si Ederlyn, text ko lang. (Ei sma b u outng pgdpud? Ksma laht)

Ethan: Wag!!! Wag na naten isama si Ederlyn, natandaan mo last time? Nag-inarte. Tapos di pa tumutulong sa paghahanda ng pagkain o kahit paglinis lang ng kinainan.

Inday: Yeah, let’s not bring any dead weight this time.

Manang: I agree!

Dodong: Ngek na text ko na!

Tumunog ang cellphone ni Dodong, galing kay Ederlyn ang message… “K! Sli aku!! May bago rn akung bikni“.

Nag-text kaagad si Dodong… “Sry wrng send“.

Dodong: Whew!

Inday: Well, let’s just discuss this over our Yahoo Groups. I have to go prepare our supper.

Ethan: Okay! Sa Yahoo Groups na lang.

Sa di kalayuan ay naririnig pala ng pulubi ang kanilang diskusyon at lumapit ito sa kanila.

Pulubi: Can I join your outing too guys? Pa-add na lang e-mail ko on your Yahoo Groups. It’s babangonako@duduruginkita.com

Napatingin na lang sa kanya sina Inday.

Popularity: 56% [?]

Isang hapon, nagmemerienda ulit ang barkada sa may sari-sari store na may isawan sa tapat.

Dodong: Alam niyo ba kung anong gagawin ko sa perang iniipon ko? Magtatayo siguro ako ng maliit na restaurant dito sa may atin. (habang sinasawsaw ang betamax sa suka)

Ethan: Aba, bigtime ka na pre ah! (sabay kagat sa bananacue) Anong klaseng resto ba yan?

Dodong: Maliit lang. Siguro gotohan lang.. ay “Pares” na lang kasi may kilala ako sa palengke mura ang bigay saken ng karne.

Ederlyn: Wow darling pwede mo akong kuning cashier or waitress. (sabay inom sa sopdrink)

Dodong: Anong darling darling? Nakakalimutan mo na ba? Wala na tayo no. Tsaka baka mawalan ng gana mga kakain pag ikaw ang nagseserve. (sabay nagpa-ihaw pa ng isaw)

Napahiya si Ederlyn at nagtawanan sina Ethan, Manang at Inday.

Dodong: Inday kunin kitang kusinera ha? Alam kong papatok ang “Pares” naten pag ikaw ang nagluluto.

Inday: Flattery won’t get you anywhere Dodong. Besides, do you already know what you need before you pursue that endeavor of yours?  You need to register a business name and submit a BTRCP Form No. 16B to DTI. Or SEC if it’s going to be a corporation or a partnership. Then get a Barangay Clearance, Mayor’s Permit and Sanitary Permit. You also have to register your business to BIR then get a license to operate from BFAD. And that’s just the gist of it.

Dodong: Huwaw!!! Ang dami pala. Buti na lang andyan ka para tulungan ako.

Inday: Well, I could concoct a list of appetizers, entréés and dessert for your “Pares” resto. (sabay subo sa baong California Maki)

Ethan: Tulungan kitang i-advertise yan pre. Ipapaskel ko sa tricycle ko yung trapal mo.

Pulubi: Do you have a name for your establishment yet? (sabay sawsaw ng baong bruschetta sa olive oil)

Dodong: Hmmm… wala pa eh. Dodong’s Pares kaya?

Manang: How unimaginative. How about… Pares Hilton. Classy yet funny. (sabay dukot sa Chippy)

Dodong: Hahaha. Ok yun ah!!

Ederlyn: Di ko gets? Anong nakakatawa dun?

Inday: Of course you don’t dear. Well Dodong, the name should cater to the mass anyway so better come up with another one.

Sumingit na rin ang maglalako na kumakain lang ng isaw sa tabi at nakikinig.  

Maglalako: Eh kung Lovers In Pares kaya? Tapos pwede ko na rin i-register ang domain name para di kayo maunahan. Nagwe-web design din nga pala ako.

Dodong, Ethan, Ederlyn, Manang: Pwede!!!

Popularity: 64% [?]

One nostalgic night, Inday (in her element), sat in her favorite couch and began browsing Kahlil Gibran’s collection of poems in “The Prophet”. One of her favorites in the book was that part pertaining to Love with lines such as,

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

“What a paradoxical and profound literary work indeed. I know someday I will find my other half”, Inday uttered calmly.

She grabbed her ipod and shuffled Nina’s Someday before eventually going to bed.

Popularity: 54% [?]